Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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