I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
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