All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
