Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize