Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
