3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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