I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
