i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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