that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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