this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Randomize
