If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
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If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
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Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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