super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
