He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize