Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she peed on how many people?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
