ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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