This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
