Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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