He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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