Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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