That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
