I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
