Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
