I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
