Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
