It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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