dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
