its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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