well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize