You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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