So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
