What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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