but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
