when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
