I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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