I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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