what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
