I hate your face
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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