My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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