i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
