you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
