he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
