is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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