You work out of a Hotel?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
