Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
