Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ketchup is God's man juice
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
