Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
