And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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