I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
