none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
