Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize