Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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