It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
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So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
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And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null