U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.