We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.