i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
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Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
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I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.