just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
