omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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