Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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