What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
