I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I still have a little drunk in my system
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
