News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
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About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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