He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize